Surprising thoughts at the end.

So, while I myself have had nothing planned for this moment, it happens to coincided with a friends birthday. So I will be going to partake of tasty beverages and some probably unhealthy snacks. Also, it will be a party like the ones I haven't been to since pre PCP.

Here's the thing I've noticed. In anticipating this evening's festivities, a thought has entered my mind a few times that goes, literally: "I'm going to go to a bar and pay money to ingest poison, too much of which, will make me hate tomorrow. Man that seems dumb and no fun." This surprised me and is not at all how I used to think of alcohol. My mouth is still watering at the thought of a beer or a glass of bourbon, but the thought of being drunk is maybe the least appetizing thing imaginable right now.

Should be fun to see how the evening goes.

Day 90 The Magic - Part Three: Peak Condition Magic

Well, here I am. Day 90 is in the bag. I have a lot that I want to reflect on and I don't expect to get it all out now. I think I'd like my day 90 post to be the 3rd part of my discussion on Magic, because it really ties it all together. But first a run down of today.

I went and did day one's workout. Took me under 10 minutes. That said, while they were easy, I did almost sort of start to get a burn on most of the exercises. See, since they were so easy, I found I was actually able to really focus on my form and isolate the muscles with incredible accuracy. The result being that these exercises, while easy and not really "work" still felt really good and fluid. Kind of like going back and playing a really easy song on guitar after you've challenged yourself for months. You find yourself adding little flourishes and being exceptionally fluid just because, well, you can now. It was still amazingly clear that I've come a long way since Day 1.

Now on with the Magic post.

I've talked about competitive vs casual players and how they perceive the game differently. What pushes competitive players to get better is drive. They have to want it. They have to be willing to put in the effort to get there. This is what makes them want to improve. But to actually improve they need confidence, but they also need humility.

First, confidence means they have already seen themselves victorious in their mind. They've seen how to get there. So, deep down, they know that they can be great. This is a great start. But to carry it further you also need to be humble. Just as strongly as they know they will be a great player, they also have to know that they are not there yet. At this point I should be clear. By great, I mean perfect. To really succeed you have to seek perfection. You have to seek Peak Condition.

This means acknowledging your mistakes. The sign of a driven player: they get upset when they loose. The hallmark of a player that will go far: when they loose they want to know why. Too many players blame their losses on luck, mana screw, or their opponent having better cards. As I've said before, these elements are there, but not as much as people want to believe. Most of the time, if you stop and look, you can find plays that you could have done differently to change the outcome of the game. That is what great players do. They own their mistakes, they don't make excuses, and they try to improve. They put in the work and the focus.

This sound familiar? What has Patrick always ranted about with people and health? They make excuses: no time, too much work, gyms are expensive, etc. PCPers, like great magic players, accept that we are not in Peak Condition, yet. But we have seen ourselves getting there, and we put in the effort. We looked not at how life had placed fitness beyond our reach, but rather what we could do differently. How can I eat better? How can I burn more calories and build muscle? What are my priorities? When the answer to the last question becomes physical fitness, then you are started down the right track. You just have to focus.

That is the last thing I want to talk about here. Focus. It's something I've been seeing pop up a lot lately. It is certainly an important part of PCP. The things we give up from our past lives attest to that. But for the last year or so it has been popping up in Magic theory a lot.

There are many elements to Magic: The Gathering game theory (card advantage, tempo, etc). They are all focused on ways to mechanically improve your game play. How to find the correct play in every circumstance. Many of the gurus seem to think that this part of theory has been pretty much figured out, and now it's down to arguing minute cases. However, many of these same gurus have lately been dropping focus into their articles. They emphasize the idea that if you are in the right mental state, the plays will come. Specifically Zac Hill has put it best: Focus on what matters right now.

This summer, with my efforts both in Magic and PCP have taught me the value of focus, and how it is always within my power to improve. You know what, it's all worked. I'm in the best shape of my life, and I really feel that my Magic playing is approaching the most competitive it's ever been. I came in the top 3 of my last two tournaments, just local ones, but 25 players each time. When you decide to make something your priority, and focus focus focus on it, then you really can exact phenomenal change in a short while. Take responsibility for your own success.

Day 89... why does this feel so familiar?

So I'm spending the last couple of days of the Project up here in the woods of Northern Vermont. I'm really glad I came up here as I needed the dose of tranquility. I spent the afternoon walking around some beaver ponds and an old abandoned farm that I used to take kids up to in my days as a camp counselor. It was a welcome chance to try and still my mind from all the chaos of the last few months.

Life certainly has a way of keeping us busy if we let it. This summer I've been focused on the PCP and on my Magic playing. As the PCP has been winding down I've found myself wondering what I'm going to do now that I'm not on this fixed routine. Well, the answer came yesterday morning. I got a call saying I've been accepted to a graduate program at Champlain College. I start working towards my Masters of Science in Mediation on Monday. It'll be a shift from developing my body to developing my mind, and I'm psyched!

The workout today was a beating. But it was the best beating of my life. I really gave it my all, and I'm glad I did seeing as my workout tomorrow promises to be a peace of cake. Should be invigorating to see how far I've come. More than anything though. I'm nervous. It's kind of frightening to be standing here on the edge of completion (I know my name says complete on the PCP website, but that's only in Patrick Time so far) and knowing that after this point it's all on my own will power. I'll have no Patrick pushing my limits and no team mates encouraging and supporting me.

Oddly, the way I feel right now is all to familiar to me. It's almost exactly the way I felt about the end of my Peace Corps service. Excited for change, yet sad for such an influential time to end. And again, I find that I've once more engaged in an adventure that has distanced me from those I knew before. This time my world view hasn't changed so much, but my perception of fitness and food has radically transformed. I know that tomorrow night I can go out and go nuts on the town but honestly, I don't really want to. I mean, I'll probably have a beer (or maybe a glass of scotch...mmmm scotch) and maybe a sandwich or something at the pub, but get wasted? Pig out on cakes and deserts? No thanks.

Now I just need find globally conscious and fitness minded people to hang out with so I don't go nuts.

I should be in bed now.

I have a lot I want to write about actually, but for some reason this week has decided to be as busy as the first week. Why is it that arguably two of the most important weeks of the project had to become super hectic?

Now that I've gotten used to the new super cushy running shoes for jump ropes, I have to say, get yourself a pair. I was able to get through all my jumps today without a micron of pain in my ankles, knees or shins. And I mean the bad pain, not the good burn. If you plan to keep jumping as a major part of your life, get the right shoes.

Kitchens and trees.

I have to say, I am really learning to love the kitchen. Putting on some tunes (or an episode of radiolab) and prepping my food, or even just cleaning up after myself and putting things in order. It all has a kind of cathartic charm. That and the fact that as I've been forced to prepare all my meals for the last 3 months, I've gotten pretty comfy with my usual dishes and been becoming slowly more adventurous. Still not quite the master PCP chef that Shelby is though. She should give lessons.

Kitchening aside, these last few days have been rather stressful in terms of getting through PCP workouts, and the tax free holiday at work, and other random craziness. I'm contemplating heading up to my folk's house this weekend in the middle of the woods. It would be nice to complete the project away from the hustle and bustle of the "city" and somewhere where I can actually listen to myself.

Anywho, I should get to bed. Big day with the super sets tomorrow. Peace.

My energee is chemical free!

Today was a tax free holiday in Vermont. That is to say, today no one was charged sales tax on any item under $2000. I work at a computer store. We have a lot of items that come really close to $2000. In short, it was a really long day. We took pre-orders all week (we had a stack thicker than a Harry Potter novel), and extended our hours to be open from 8am-10pm.

Why am I telling you this? Because I was surprised to realize towards the end of my 12-10 shift (10hrs for those keeping track) that while my coworkers were sucking down Redbull or coffee all day, I had not a drop of anything but water. I had some coffee around 9am after my workout, but that was it. And you know what, I felt like I was way less tired than all my coworkers looked. Also, despite the free pizza provided by my bosses, I stuck to my eggs, chicken, and veggies. I found that by the end of the shift, I even felt energized for my bike ride home. To the point where I took the longer way home with a couple more ups and downs...just for fun. No artificial chemical energy for me!

Also, I couldn't not take part in the madness. I may have bought myself a shiny new 13inch macbook pro. It is sexy.

New Shoes.

Yesterday I bought a new pair of high end running shoes. I figure, if fitness is going to be something important to me, and particularly the jump ropes, from now on, I may as well invest in some quality equipment. I also feel like I have the knowledge and experience now to get what I need, and not just what is fancy and high tech. It's the same way you wait until you've been playing for a few months or years before you shell out for a top end guitar. By then you know in what ways your hand me down beater is letting you down. then you can go to the music store and play around and try different guitars and find the one that responds to you.

This was basically my mentality with the shoes. I've been getting some pain in my legs, so it was clear to me that I needed better footgear if I'm planning to continue this well past PCP. Also, I happen to live right behind an excellent bike/running shop. So I went over there this morning and they have a whole fitting process where they watch you walk and match you with the right type of shoe. Then you try on three or four different pairs and they video tape you running on a treadmill to see how the shoe effects your stride. Obviously, I did a bunch of jumping in the shoes too.

I gotta say, what a world of difference. Jumping/running in shoes with the appropriate support and padding was like night and day. And since I am very much aware of how my body moves now, I was actually able to distinguish the subtle differences in each shoe. I'm actually pretty excited to jump with them tomorrow. I may even start mixing it up with running and jumping once PCP is done. Either way, I feel like these were a solid investment.

It also gives me a monetary stake in keeping this up, much as I've said that the price of the PCP is a motivator, the price of the shoes will be a motivator to use them and keep active.

The Magic - Part Two

Previously I talked about three levels of progression in terms of game play. In actuality this progression can really be applied to anything. The important part is that it is in the transition between these levels that the switch to a professional, or at least competitive, player happens. I think the best way to illustrate this is with some examples from my own progression. First though, in order to understand a lot of this a couple of quick facts about the game (this is so the non magic players can have any hope of following along).

The core mechanic of Magic is that you are casting spells and summoning creatures to attack (both represented by cards) in order to reduce your opponents life total from 20 to 0. To cast these spells (and summon creatures) you use a resource call mana (of which there are 5 different colors), which is produced from land cards. You can play one land per turn, and use (tap) each land you have to produce one mana a turn, which you spend to do things. The lands recharge or untap at the start of each turn. In addition, with the exception of these land cards (which usually make up about a third of your deck) you can only play up to four copies of each creature or spell. Since you are drawing one card off the top of your deck each turn, there is an element of luck to which cards you have access to on any given turn.

For most of my early magic playing days (middle school-high school) I had access to a fairly small amount of cards. Most of the cards I did have I only had one or two copies. So for the most part my friends and I built decks that were only loosely focused on a specific strategy. Mostly we would build a deck with our "best" cards and clash them against each other. Now, at this time our concept of "best" was more or lest equivalent to the biggest creatures or the flashiest of spells that had huge game swinging effects. So games were mostly decided by a combination of who had the most of these cards, and who drew them first. We were vaguely aware that there were strategies out there like using swarms of small easy to cast creatures, or building up lots of mana quickly to cast big spells before your opponent gets their act together, but mostly we just played cards and saw what happened and had fun.

When I went to college I stopped playing magic for a bit. Mostly, my first year atleast, I didn't know any one else who played. I had left all my high school friends back in Ohio. Sophomore year though I met some new friends and we discovered one day that we had all used to play, and so we pulled out our cards and played lots of fun multiplayer games. This time around though, we were all a little wiser, a little more puzzle minded, and, I realize now, we slowly discovered the concept of the metagame. That is to say, if one person was dominating one week, the next week some or most of us would have a deck that directly opposes the way that person was winning. We were adjusting our strategies based on what we expected to play against.

Around this same time, my friend Aaron convinced me to play in my first tournament. We took one of my usual decks and tweaked it and tuned it a bit until we felt like it was worth playing, and we took it to the local game shop. I got owned. Like totally bent over. But you know what, I learned a lot. One of the biggest revelations: cards that have drawbacks can be built around. That is to say, up until this point if I saw a card that wasn't all up side, I would write it off. Playing in the tournament, with a higher caliber of player, I saw lots of cards being played that had some sort of drawback and usually, it wasn't that bad for the one who played it. They had built their deck so that it could minimize the drawback, or even benefit from it. The revelation was like the realization that you don't need a pick to play guitar, or that grabs counter blocks in a fighting game, or working out until your muscles burn actually makes them grow! All of a sudden there was a whole new level of strategy to learn and understand!

The other major thing I learned from tournament players: how much control you really have over the luck factor. I was amazed at how consistent their decks were. They seemed to be able to execute the same strategy, with the same cards, game after game after game. The key was playing 4 copies of the key cards. Actually it gets deeper than that. Tournament players quickly learn the concept that the number of copies you play directly relates (with amazing reliability) to how often you will draw it. In an average game, if you play 4 copies you will draw 1 or 2 copies of the card very frequently. If you only need to see one copy, but drawing two is still ok, you can get away with 3. If you absolutely only need to draw one copy, and probably not until the late game, you play two. One offs are usually only played if you have some kind of effect that lets you search the deck, or if it's a sort of stalemate breaker card. The other important thing is to correctly balance your land vs spells. If you draw too many land, you don't have anything to do. But if you draw too few, you won't have the resources to play your spells. Usually the correct balance is to play about 24 land in a 60 card deck. On average you will draw about one land for every two spells as long as you shuffle well.

These are trends that you really only start to notice when you play competitively. What's the main difference between competitive play and casual play here? Records. In tournaments you keep track of your results. At the end of the night you can say that your deck won x out of y games. And you can usually recall things like "I won every game where I drew x card" or recognize when you needed multiple copies of a card. Keeping track of performance is one of the single biggest steps in transitioning to a competitive player. Why? Patterns.

This is how humans learn. By picking up on patterns. This is how we learn from our mistakes, or develop confidence in a theory. More importantly, discovering patterns feels really good. Let me stress this. For myself, and many people, when a pattern suddenly becomes clear, there is a rush of excitement. That's that "Eureka" epiphany feeling. But, if you are not looking for those, you will not get them. This is why many people can play a game and never get sucked into it. For me, if I play a game, any game, and I have a single moment of "Ah Ha! I get it now!" then I immediately want to play again so I can apply what I just learned. If that leads to more pattern discovery I get hooked.

This is the same feeling of getting into a groove that musicians will talk about when their are really progressing their ability, or when athletes have a breakthroughs in their training or techniques. And it is, I think, this questing for understanding/patterns/breakthroughs that sucks a player into the competitive mind set. It's a rush.

There's still more to come. Next time I'll talk about two of the most important keys to making progress as a competitive player (and in life): confidence and humility. They are more closely linked than you think. I'll also tie all of this back to the PCP, so stay tuned!

BTW

Jeremiah found me a while ago but I thought maybe others would like to know, you can follow me on twitter. My name is g33kfish.

Kick ass!

Keep kicking ass with those jumpropes guys! We want to end our 90 days looking like this:

Tiny update.

Didn't quite get the finishing the next part of the magic post, on account of I kind of fell asleep when I got home. Now I need to get to bed again if I want to get up early and work out. But in the mean time, I went swimming by moonlight with some friends the other evening and when my friend Corin snapped a quick shot of me without my shirt and examined the result on her digital camera she exclaimed "holy crap! Your like, ripped! I had no idea!" Which was pretty freakin' awesome. So she had me actually flex for one. For you're enjoyment here are the pics she snapped.

The beach is over that way!

Yeah, we're badass!

The Magic - Part One

As I started to write about why I enjoy magic so much, and what makes a pro player out of a casual gamer, I realized this was going to be a long one, so I'm breaking it up. Here is part one:

As all of you, I'm sure, have realized, Magic: the Gathering is a large part of my life. Games in general are very important to me and actually I think Magic is largely responsible for that fact. A lot of you have encouraged me to talk about the difference between a casual magic player and a professional, or at least highly competitive, player. To do that I think it's best to start by explaining what it is I love about Magic, and all games really. I think you'll start to see the divide emerge from that discussion, and also how it relates to my progress in the Peak Condition Project.

There are two types of games: casual games and competitive games. Let me explain how I determine these categories. Casual games are ones where there's only so far you can take the strategy. Usually these games have a fair amount of luck to them, or more extremely, they can pretty much be played without the players and still have an outcome. An extreme example of a casual game would be the card game "War." For the most part you could sit there with two decks and flip cards until they all end up in one pile. The game is still fun, and makes a great time killer, but there's no point in thinking about strategy.

Competitive games are those where there are maximum opportunities for the player to influence the game through skill, be it a physical or mental one. An extreme example of this would be Chess. There is no luck in chess. The game does not go without a player controlling the game pieces. The depth of strategy one can pursue to get an edge over the opponent is near limitless. Any sport would also be a competitive game in that it is almost entirely determined by the skill of the players.

Most games fall on spectrum of casual to competitive. Monopoly, for example, has a very strong luck element, but there are strategies that are applicable as well. It's also important to acknowledge that any game can be played in a casual or competitive manner. I know several people who put a lot of thought into their monopoly playing and there's also the hordes of Magic players that never read a single strategy article or even consider building a deck specifically to counter their friends' decks. Some people even play chess in a very casual way, slinging pieces willy nilly to see what happens when the smoke clears. Due to the limited strategic depth, I will not be talking much more about true casual games.

With games, as with many things, there is a progression of understanding. Most casual gamers focus on the tactical. That is to say, they think "what move is good right now?" A lot of time they'll make the choice of "what would be cool?" At some point, usually after you've played the same game several times, you start to have the thought "what worked well last time?" At this point you move from tactics into strategy, long term planning. This is a crucial point. It is at this point that you can start to think about the game productively even when you are not currently playing. Once this point is reached, there is no going back.

This is the crucial turning point where one begins to cross from casual to competitive. This is the point where a player is no longer just thinking about what will be fun, but is genuinely focused on how to win.

This can be dangerous however as this is the point when interest in the game is either deepened, or lost forever in frustration. How is it lost? Let me use the example of fighting video games, I'll use street fighter as an example.

The progression of a Street Fighter player has 3 levels in my mind, the button masher, the intermediate, and the master. The button masher is exactly what it sounds like: the player who knows, at most, the basic buttons, and basically just presses things at random. The next level is the player who has learned all the basic moves and is starting to figure out how to string them into combos and special attacks. At this point they have set goals, and they are always trying to use what they've just figured out, but their fluency in the controls is not yet there and they get a sort of tunnel vision. They have the knowledge but not the "feel" for the game. Finally is the master. The player who knows a character inside and out and can easily and fluidly string together combos and counters and knows intuitively without thought, what move to use when.

The intermediate player will almost always loose to the master. But they are usually learning new things when this happens so they are encouraged and their hunger for understanding of the game deepens (unless the master is a jerk). The intermediate will also loose, with frustrating frequency, to the button masher. They are expecting to play against certain tactics that are only used by other intermediate and master players. Thus, they are at a loss when faced with a random chaotic opponent. It is not uncommon for this player to get frustrated and give up at this point.

The thing is, once you start down that intermediate path, there's no way to turn that off. There's no way to forget the stuff you've already figured out. So you can't go back to being a casual button masher. You know too much. So the choice is to either keep going and push through the frustration, or give up on the game entirely. If you push through you will be rewarded with a the ability to properly apply what you've learned and be able experience the satisfaction of legitimately succeeding on skill.

This progressive understanding is what has me hooked on Magic. Understanding a new concept in Magic is just like the feeling of mastering a new guitar chord, or perfecting your lay-up technique. It's exciting, and satisfying, and it makes you wonder what's next!

District 9 ...

... is one of the best movies I have ever seen. Period. Great Sci Fi uses the genre as a tool to highlight specific issues. It's been a long time since I've seen or read great sci fi, and this was it. Heart wrenching and exciting. And the action is some of the best I've seen in a while too. Go see it. Really.

Also, I had my final indulgence today. My parents and I drove down to Middlebury College to meet my sister who just finished up a super immersive 7 week language course in italian. So to celebrate that, and belatedly my birthday, we went to this place called the Storm Cafe which I was apparently the only one in my family not to have been to.

Though I was full of intent to indulge, as I scanned the menu the first thing I was aware of was that all the gooey, cheesy, greasy, "unhealthy" sandwiches and stuff just didn't look that appetizing. But, I went with "the Dude." It was basically a glorified BLT with cheddar cheese. I have to say, it was delicious. There honestly wasn't all that much that was bad. It was fresh bread, fresh veggies, low fat mayo. Pretty healthy except for the bacon. Oh and the ranch dressing. Still, I figure it counts for my indulgence.

I didn't notice anything unusual about the actual act of eating, or how I felt except that I had kind of a hard time eating it all. Even though it was probably a smaller quantity of food over all compared to my normal PCP lunch.

The real indulgence though, was my beverage. I had the first beer I've had in almost three months. For this I selected a Circus Boy from Magic Hat Brewery, complete with a slice of orange.

The aroma alone when it arrived was glorious. I've been around beer during PCP and not been at all enthralled by the smell, but knowing I was going to drink this one made it somehow different. I took a fool three deep breaths of the heady vapors before allowing it past my lips.

The first sip was rapture. The wash of the cold beer across my tongue was so crisp and yet kind of dirty at the same time. The earthy taste of the malt, the bitter hops. Everything was as good as I hoped it would be.

As wonderful as it was, I actually didn't even finish it over the course of the whole meal. It only took a few sips before I could feel the buzz, as little as it was. That right there was enough to have me consuming the drink very slowly. It was actually kind of nice to be able to enjoy the beer without feeling any sort of drive to have another.

Let me make one thing clear, before PCP I loved beer. Beer and coffee. As in, one of the worst dreams ever was one where I was told I could never again drink coffee or beer. Well, I've had coffee still on PCP, but not beer. So my first beer was something I'd been looking forward too. But I really like the fact that as delicious as that was, I don't feel like I have to have one. But I could still probably enjoy one here and there.

I only look awake online.

So I was lying in bed this morning with my imac playing music at me to try and get me out of bed and trying to tell myself "just another 20 min, you can do the work out after work." All of a sudden I hear the sound of a new chat window. See, as part of my alarm clock program (Aurora for those interested) I have it programmed to automatically launch Adium at the time I'm supposed to wake up. This way I will appear awake online and if someone tries to chat with me I'll have to get out of bed to answer them. Well nine out of ten times it's just my buddy Kurt from Peace Corps (who lives in Japan now) and I just ignore him. But this morning it was Patrick.

As if he could read my mind he was all "Yo! Get your lazy good for nuthin' ass out of bed and give me 50!" I'm paraphrasing of course, but basically he was callin' me out. Well, it worked. I got up, chatted with him for a minute, and then got outside and did the whole workout. I found a way to jump without causing my ankle pain (keep both feet stuck together and it's like one ankle supports the other) and got through eveything else. Now it's breakfast, make my lunch, and head to work.

My point is, man I wish I had gotten the chat part working earlier. I needed that kick in the ass Patrick. Thanks!

Sad Trombone.

Well, I didn't do nearly as well as I had hoped yesterday. My record for matches played was 3-3, though officially it's 2-4 on the books because I played at the wrong table for round 5, which meant I got a match loss for being a "no show." Man that was a kick to the junk when I got called up to the judges table, cause until that point I was still in contention for prizes, even if not for the Pro Tour invite. Rather than drop I figured I'd at least play one more round, but ended up loosing while sitting one table up from the bottom. Not good for my ego. Still, I pulled a $20 card out of my door prize packs, so I at least got my entry fee back.

I blame a lot of it on the fact that I only got 4 hours of sleep the night before. About halfway through the tournament I was feeling pretty tired and kept having some gas pains (For some reason I wasn't farting as much as I normally have been). Still, I attribute the fact that I was still able to play at a reasonably competitive level (I avoided joining the "I was killed by Progenitus" facebook group (It's ok if you don't know what that means)) to the PCP and the fact that I am in great shape, and was eating good food regularly throughout the tournament.

So yeah, lost more rating on that, and when I got home I pretty much just made dinner and went to bed. I was literally in bed by 9:30. Great for sleep, not so great for my jumps this morning. Whenever I sleep for more than 8 hours straight, I tend to wake up with a bit of a headache. It's very very minor, but man did jumping up and down make it suck. So after about 50 jumps I said screw it, I'll try again after work.

Bryan, you and Patrick have gotten me addicted to Radiolab. I am flying through the episodes (much like I flew through Zen is Stupid when I discovered that one). I'm listening to the one you linked and I have to say that what they have to say about contact rings very true to me. One of the things I love about magic more than anything else is the community. At least once a week, usually twice, I have a group of people that I spend my evening hanging out with. We all compete and encourage each other, discuss the results from major pro tournaments and their effects on the metagame, and a lot of us even go and hang out in bars after the tournaments (or I did pre PCP). We also support each other in our hobby. We lend cards when we need them for decks and trade rides to tournaments. It also extends beyond magic. I have, in fact, asked one of my magic buddies for a ride to the doctor's.

I would also go so far as to say, that to an extent, this sense of community is something I got from WoW as well. All the relationships were online, but so are all of my relationships with my fellow PCPers. Just instead of raiding dungeons, we discuss fitness. I still feel like if I were to show up randomly in one of your towns, I'd have someone who could help me out if I needed a place to crash, or just to show me around.

When I was in Niger and would feel the absence of WoW, or Magic, it was more the communities that I missed. Certainly I had my fellow Peace Corps volunteers as a group, and my Nigerian friends, but those groups didn't have specific shared activities like my magic community and wow guild did. I think that's why I have had such a hard time when I try to date some one and they don't have any hobbies or things they do aside from work and hang out with friends. There's nothing to share, to exchange, to learn, to teach there!

Also, if you don't get the title, click here to see how I felt when I got the match loss.

Awesome!

So yesterday I bought myself a shiny new jump rope. It's a "speed rope" and is a little bit shorter than my old one (which I always suspected was a little too long) and the actual rope part is much heavier. Well, first morning with the new rope today and I pulled off the crossed arms maneuver for the first time!

This gives me a pretty good feeling for the day as I am about to head up to Canada for a magic tournament. I've been agonizing over what deck to play and I've decided to go with one that may not be the most favorable, but I know how to play it like the back of my hand. I have seen this deck post some major top 8's recently, so I know it can win against the expected field, I just have to play really well, which I know I can do more so with this deck than anything I try to pick up last minute.

But, clearly I am awesome today, so wish me luck!

Respect my Prah-or-eh-tah!

I was having a chat this evening with Patrick (I finally got the chat working) and I started talking about priorities. Specifically what I've learned about them since starting PCP.

It came about because I mentioned that I hadn't picked up my guitar once since PCP started. Instead of making excuses or even berating myself for not playing, I've been amazed with how I've been kind of ok with it the whole time. It feels more like missing a good friend than having neglected a job. The reason is because I know exactly where it lies on my priorities.

I have not been putting off guitar, nor have I been desperately trying to find time to play it. It just happens that I've placed it just far enough down on my priorities list, that I don't quite get to it. That is, given the amount of time I have, I have always made the conscious choice to engage in some other activity, and so the guitar waits. I've had opportunities, but I've put other things first.

And that's what I've learned. To own my choices in priority. I don't have anyone to blame for not doing something but myself, and I don't blame myself for simply making a choice. It's like not blaming myself for choosing PCP as the reason I have been deprived of cake. Nope, just a choice like any other. Also, I'm not as upset as I feel most people would be because I know that the time will come for guitar again. As the competitive magic season dies down (at least in the formats that I play), or when PCP ends and I can cut down the work out a bit, there will be time.

There's plenty of time to do one thing at a time and do it well. It's all about priorities.

Don't be a dick.

So for the last couple days I trimmed one set off the jump ropes and did some extra sets of arms or abs instead of floor jumps in order to take it easy on my knees. I am pleased to report that they seem to be back to full strength again. No more pain when I ride my bike up hill to work or do my jumps.

Also, some further thoughts on my birthday. I actually wasn't all that upset about not doing much. Honestly, I think that it was another case of confronting societal programming, which is exactly what we've been doing this whole time on the PCP. In this case, the only thing that was bringing me down was the fact that society expects me to go nuts on my birthday. Why? What makes that day any different that going out and getting wasted or pigging out doesn't have the same ill effects it has the rest of the year. I felt bad that I couldn't go out on the town and have 2 or 3 or 20 beers because society expected me to do those things. But the truth was, despite the encouragement of my fellows to cheat on "just this one day" I really didn't want to cheat. I wanted to continue to eat well, and do my work out.

So I went and had some sushi, which is a special treat but still (mostly) PCP safe. Then I went and saw a movie with a friend of mine. That was enough. It would have been nice to see my family members, but they'll still be around on other days. It shouldn't have to be some arbitrary "special" day in order for us to get together. So really, when I focus on what I am actually feeling and not what I'm supposed to feel, it was a good day and I did exactly what I wanted.

And now, a brief rant:

So the other day I was at work and a customer came in with a pair of headphones that had stopped working. He'd had them for about 7 weeks. Now, our return policy is 15 days. It seems short I know, but in order for us (being a small local business) to not just eat the cost of the product, we need that time to be able to return it to the manufacturer and get a new one or get a credit back. So we simply can't take things back beyond that and not loose money. Our return policy is also plastered everywhere. On the counter, on the receipt, on signs, on our website. Everywhere.

Now these headphones were still covered by the manufacturer warranty, as noted on our website. So I told the customer that we couldn't take them back, but I would look up the warranty information and contact info for him. Now, the page for the company took forever to load on the computer. So the customer was left staring at me who was left staring at the screen. This is where he started getting rude. He pulled the "my company spends x thousands of dollars here" card. He basically threatened to not give us a future sale over this pair of headphones. He even tried to point out how paltry $30 was compared to the money he would spend. Here's the thing though, if it's so paltry, why is he so upset to lose $30. We are not a large company. As much as losing that money hurts him, it hurts us too.

My real point though is the fact that he was intentionally trying to make me feel like the asshole. What pisses me off is that I see this all the time, and I know that it is mostly just show. The people aren't really that upset over random product (most of the time). But they know, that in our American culture, the customer does not have to take responsibility for anything, and that if they make a big enough stink they'll get what they want. So they don't think twice about the fact that I am a real person they are pushing around, and that their behavior really isn't anything short of abuse.

I'm pretty sure that most, if not all, well meaning religions started with the same principle: Don't be a dick. That's it, nothing fancy. It's when you start adding caveats and special cases and such that it gets all fowled up and lost. But "don't be a dick" is how I try to live. And it occured to me, after dealing with this customer, that there is a simple way to find out if you are living to this standard. When you get home at the end of the day and just think for a second about your interactions with other people. Now, ask yourself "how many people did I make feel like shit for no good reason?" If your answer is anything but 0, you are a dick.

Honestly, I'm ok with it if you are. Just don't lie to yourself and tell yourself you are a good person if you were able to answer this question with a number. In every situation, there is a skillful way to deal with even frustrating situations and still treat the other party with respect and empathy. Try to find that way.

Just don't be a dick.

So it's my birthday...

... and I find myself with no idea what to do. I had to work, which was whatever. And my family is all otherwise tied up with stuff (which was unexpected but happens). So now my plans of dinner with the folks have fallen through and I have to improvise.

Well, normally I'd rally a bunch of friends for a drink, but I don't drink at the moment. And most food I'd go out to eat is not PCP friendly. So... maybe a movie? Kind of short notice to invite anyone for that sort of time commitment.

Most frustrating of all though is the fact that, oddly, I don't really mind the idea of not doing anything. That's actually what I think frightens me most. Am I getting old? I'm only 26, that's shouldn't feel this unexciting. But it is over the 25 "I should be an adult doing adult things now" hump.

Odd. Never has a birthday felt like such a non event.

Magical cards.

Woo! Caught up on sleep! (He says as he is staying up past midnight again). I ended up coming home from work on Thurs and passing out. I woke up just long enough to make dinner and then went back to bed until 9am Friday morning. This means I skipped the workout on Thurs, but I think sleep was more important at this point.

Now that I am well rested I should talk about last weekend. First off, it was a blast. Anytime you can be around so many people with a shared passion it's a rush. I literally spent 5 days doing nothing but thinking about, talking about, and playing Magic. It was awesome. Sadly I didn't do particularly well in any of the tournaments, but I'm not terribly surprised.

I guess now is a good time to start explaining some of the elements of magic, so I can explain why I scrubbed out. You are welcome to skim ahead as this is going to get kind of geeky, technical, and non intuitive for a bit.

For starters, there are basically two types of magic tournaments: constructed and limited. Constructed is where you bring a deck of your own build to the tournament and test it against the decks everyone else brings. Limited is when you show up and either get a bunch of packs to build a deck out of, or you draft cards one at a time from a slightly smaller shared pool of product. In either limited format you then try and build the best deck you can with what you get, though draft decks tend to be a little less clunky since you can draft along the lines of a strategy and work with your neighbors to try not to fight over the same cards. But that's more than you need to know.

Most of the events I played in were constructed, starting with the last chance qualifiers the day before the main event: US Nationals. Aaron and I spent Thursday morning (the day of the LCQ's) building this funky metagame deck for me to play. When I refer to the metagame I mean the anticipated landscape of decks you expect to be present. We were building a deck that was not one of the established archetypes, but rather one that would, hopefully, beat the decks we expected to see in the highest numbers. It did an ok job, but being that we built it that morning, it's not surprising that it needed some tuning. Still, I managed to top 8 one of the LCQ's, though only 1st place gets the invite to Nats.

I also played in a Pro Tour Qualifier, and did marginally well until the later rounds. Again, it was a janky out of nowhere deck. Any success was impressive. The other big event I played in was the $3k draft challenge. This was a limited tournament where we were broken into pods so that we could draft cards from our 3 packs each (24 packs total at the table). I have to say I was pretty pleased with the deck I drafted. I think more than anything I was just outclassed by a lot of my opponents. Several of them were folks who had been competing in Nats.

If you skipped ahead you can start reading again now.

Even though I did not win anything, I definitely felt the influence of PCP on my performance. More than anything else, I never succumbed to the fatigue and hunger that can effect players during long tournaments. Many players fail to take into account how physically challenging 9 hour long rounds of magic really is. Despite the venue's best efforts, I managed to keep a supply of reasonably healthy food on hand and stayed fed and hydrated. More than anything, this meant I was able to keep a clear head and keep having fun all day.

The other thing I really noticed, especially in the draft, was how much I saw my game improving from one game to the next. Even if I wasn't playing much better, I was noticing my mistakes more. After every game I was able to scrutinize my play with more tenacity than before. What would have seemed previously to have been an unwinable game, I was now able to see I had actually made x y z decisions wrong and thrown the game away. This may seem like a let down but it's not. To me, seeing that I screwed up a game like this meant something totally exciting: I could improve!

Nothing excites me more than getting better at something. So when I fail and no matter how I look at it there was nothing I could have done differently to succeed, it really frustrates me. What then can I improve? So to be seeing my own game play with a new refocused lense, and see the elements that need improving, well that's just awesome. I think there is no denying that my physical condition is what allowed me to reach that mental state.

On a side note, today when I left work I noticed that my left knee was starting to hurt a little when I peddled my bike. I ignored it, got home, did my jumpropes and my work out, and then sat the the computer. Now, as I get ready for bed, it really hurts. it's fine if it's stationary, but if I move it or try to lift weight with it, man it hurts. I'm hoping some sleep makes it feel better. We'll see.

Also, good luck to all the Vermonters who made Day 2 of Grand Prix: Boston (Pro level Magic Tournament). I wish I could be down there with you (stupid work). Kick some ass for me!