I only look awake online.

So I was lying in bed this morning with my imac playing music at me to try and get me out of bed and trying to tell myself "just another 20 min, you can do the work out after work." All of a sudden I hear the sound of a new chat window. See, as part of my alarm clock program (Aurora for those interested) I have it programmed to automatically launch Adium at the time I'm supposed to wake up. This way I will appear awake online and if someone tries to chat with me I'll have to get out of bed to answer them. Well nine out of ten times it's just my buddy Kurt from Peace Corps (who lives in Japan now) and I just ignore him. But this morning it was Patrick.

As if he could read my mind he was all "Yo! Get your lazy good for nuthin' ass out of bed and give me 50!" I'm paraphrasing of course, but basically he was callin' me out. Well, it worked. I got up, chatted with him for a minute, and then got outside and did the whole workout. I found a way to jump without causing my ankle pain (keep both feet stuck together and it's like one ankle supports the other) and got through eveything else. Now it's breakfast, make my lunch, and head to work.

My point is, man I wish I had gotten the chat part working earlier. I needed that kick in the ass Patrick. Thanks!

Sad Trombone.

Well, I didn't do nearly as well as I had hoped yesterday. My record for matches played was 3-3, though officially it's 2-4 on the books because I played at the wrong table for round 5, which meant I got a match loss for being a "no show." Man that was a kick to the junk when I got called up to the judges table, cause until that point I was still in contention for prizes, even if not for the Pro Tour invite. Rather than drop I figured I'd at least play one more round, but ended up loosing while sitting one table up from the bottom. Not good for my ego. Still, I pulled a $20 card out of my door prize packs, so I at least got my entry fee back.

I blame a lot of it on the fact that I only got 4 hours of sleep the night before. About halfway through the tournament I was feeling pretty tired and kept having some gas pains (For some reason I wasn't farting as much as I normally have been). Still, I attribute the fact that I was still able to play at a reasonably competitive level (I avoided joining the "I was killed by Progenitus" facebook group (It's ok if you don't know what that means)) to the PCP and the fact that I am in great shape, and was eating good food regularly throughout the tournament.

So yeah, lost more rating on that, and when I got home I pretty much just made dinner and went to bed. I was literally in bed by 9:30. Great for sleep, not so great for my jumps this morning. Whenever I sleep for more than 8 hours straight, I tend to wake up with a bit of a headache. It's very very minor, but man did jumping up and down make it suck. So after about 50 jumps I said screw it, I'll try again after work.

Bryan, you and Patrick have gotten me addicted to Radiolab. I am flying through the episodes (much like I flew through Zen is Stupid when I discovered that one). I'm listening to the one you linked and I have to say that what they have to say about contact rings very true to me. One of the things I love about magic more than anything else is the community. At least once a week, usually twice, I have a group of people that I spend my evening hanging out with. We all compete and encourage each other, discuss the results from major pro tournaments and their effects on the metagame, and a lot of us even go and hang out in bars after the tournaments (or I did pre PCP). We also support each other in our hobby. We lend cards when we need them for decks and trade rides to tournaments. It also extends beyond magic. I have, in fact, asked one of my magic buddies for a ride to the doctor's.

I would also go so far as to say, that to an extent, this sense of community is something I got from WoW as well. All the relationships were online, but so are all of my relationships with my fellow PCPers. Just instead of raiding dungeons, we discuss fitness. I still feel like if I were to show up randomly in one of your towns, I'd have someone who could help me out if I needed a place to crash, or just to show me around.

When I was in Niger and would feel the absence of WoW, or Magic, it was more the communities that I missed. Certainly I had my fellow Peace Corps volunteers as a group, and my Nigerian friends, but those groups didn't have specific shared activities like my magic community and wow guild did. I think that's why I have had such a hard time when I try to date some one and they don't have any hobbies or things they do aside from work and hang out with friends. There's nothing to share, to exchange, to learn, to teach there!

Also, if you don't get the title, click here to see how I felt when I got the match loss.

Awesome!

So yesterday I bought myself a shiny new jump rope. It's a "speed rope" and is a little bit shorter than my old one (which I always suspected was a little too long) and the actual rope part is much heavier. Well, first morning with the new rope today and I pulled off the crossed arms maneuver for the first time!

This gives me a pretty good feeling for the day as I am about to head up to Canada for a magic tournament. I've been agonizing over what deck to play and I've decided to go with one that may not be the most favorable, but I know how to play it like the back of my hand. I have seen this deck post some major top 8's recently, so I know it can win against the expected field, I just have to play really well, which I know I can do more so with this deck than anything I try to pick up last minute.

But, clearly I am awesome today, so wish me luck!

Respect my Prah-or-eh-tah!

I was having a chat this evening with Patrick (I finally got the chat working) and I started talking about priorities. Specifically what I've learned about them since starting PCP.

It came about because I mentioned that I hadn't picked up my guitar once since PCP started. Instead of making excuses or even berating myself for not playing, I've been amazed with how I've been kind of ok with it the whole time. It feels more like missing a good friend than having neglected a job. The reason is because I know exactly where it lies on my priorities.

I have not been putting off guitar, nor have I been desperately trying to find time to play it. It just happens that I've placed it just far enough down on my priorities list, that I don't quite get to it. That is, given the amount of time I have, I have always made the conscious choice to engage in some other activity, and so the guitar waits. I've had opportunities, but I've put other things first.

And that's what I've learned. To own my choices in priority. I don't have anyone to blame for not doing something but myself, and I don't blame myself for simply making a choice. It's like not blaming myself for choosing PCP as the reason I have been deprived of cake. Nope, just a choice like any other. Also, I'm not as upset as I feel most people would be because I know that the time will come for guitar again. As the competitive magic season dies down (at least in the formats that I play), or when PCP ends and I can cut down the work out a bit, there will be time.

There's plenty of time to do one thing at a time and do it well. It's all about priorities.

Don't be a dick.

So for the last couple days I trimmed one set off the jump ropes and did some extra sets of arms or abs instead of floor jumps in order to take it easy on my knees. I am pleased to report that they seem to be back to full strength again. No more pain when I ride my bike up hill to work or do my jumps.

Also, some further thoughts on my birthday. I actually wasn't all that upset about not doing much. Honestly, I think that it was another case of confronting societal programming, which is exactly what we've been doing this whole time on the PCP. In this case, the only thing that was bringing me down was the fact that society expects me to go nuts on my birthday. Why? What makes that day any different that going out and getting wasted or pigging out doesn't have the same ill effects it has the rest of the year. I felt bad that I couldn't go out on the town and have 2 or 3 or 20 beers because society expected me to do those things. But the truth was, despite the encouragement of my fellows to cheat on "just this one day" I really didn't want to cheat. I wanted to continue to eat well, and do my work out.

So I went and had some sushi, which is a special treat but still (mostly) PCP safe. Then I went and saw a movie with a friend of mine. That was enough. It would have been nice to see my family members, but they'll still be around on other days. It shouldn't have to be some arbitrary "special" day in order for us to get together. So really, when I focus on what I am actually feeling and not what I'm supposed to feel, it was a good day and I did exactly what I wanted.

And now, a brief rant:

So the other day I was at work and a customer came in with a pair of headphones that had stopped working. He'd had them for about 7 weeks. Now, our return policy is 15 days. It seems short I know, but in order for us (being a small local business) to not just eat the cost of the product, we need that time to be able to return it to the manufacturer and get a new one or get a credit back. So we simply can't take things back beyond that and not loose money. Our return policy is also plastered everywhere. On the counter, on the receipt, on signs, on our website. Everywhere.

Now these headphones were still covered by the manufacturer warranty, as noted on our website. So I told the customer that we couldn't take them back, but I would look up the warranty information and contact info for him. Now, the page for the company took forever to load on the computer. So the customer was left staring at me who was left staring at the screen. This is where he started getting rude. He pulled the "my company spends x thousands of dollars here" card. He basically threatened to not give us a future sale over this pair of headphones. He even tried to point out how paltry $30 was compared to the money he would spend. Here's the thing though, if it's so paltry, why is he so upset to lose $30. We are not a large company. As much as losing that money hurts him, it hurts us too.

My real point though is the fact that he was intentionally trying to make me feel like the asshole. What pisses me off is that I see this all the time, and I know that it is mostly just show. The people aren't really that upset over random product (most of the time). But they know, that in our American culture, the customer does not have to take responsibility for anything, and that if they make a big enough stink they'll get what they want. So they don't think twice about the fact that I am a real person they are pushing around, and that their behavior really isn't anything short of abuse.

I'm pretty sure that most, if not all, well meaning religions started with the same principle: Don't be a dick. That's it, nothing fancy. It's when you start adding caveats and special cases and such that it gets all fowled up and lost. But "don't be a dick" is how I try to live. And it occured to me, after dealing with this customer, that there is a simple way to find out if you are living to this standard. When you get home at the end of the day and just think for a second about your interactions with other people. Now, ask yourself "how many people did I make feel like shit for no good reason?" If your answer is anything but 0, you are a dick.

Honestly, I'm ok with it if you are. Just don't lie to yourself and tell yourself you are a good person if you were able to answer this question with a number. In every situation, there is a skillful way to deal with even frustrating situations and still treat the other party with respect and empathy. Try to find that way.

Just don't be a dick.

So it's my birthday...

... and I find myself with no idea what to do. I had to work, which was whatever. And my family is all otherwise tied up with stuff (which was unexpected but happens). So now my plans of dinner with the folks have fallen through and I have to improvise.

Well, normally I'd rally a bunch of friends for a drink, but I don't drink at the moment. And most food I'd go out to eat is not PCP friendly. So... maybe a movie? Kind of short notice to invite anyone for that sort of time commitment.

Most frustrating of all though is the fact that, oddly, I don't really mind the idea of not doing anything. That's actually what I think frightens me most. Am I getting old? I'm only 26, that's shouldn't feel this unexciting. But it is over the 25 "I should be an adult doing adult things now" hump.

Odd. Never has a birthday felt like such a non event.

Magical cards.

Woo! Caught up on sleep! (He says as he is staying up past midnight again). I ended up coming home from work on Thurs and passing out. I woke up just long enough to make dinner and then went back to bed until 9am Friday morning. This means I skipped the workout on Thurs, but I think sleep was more important at this point.

Now that I am well rested I should talk about last weekend. First off, it was a blast. Anytime you can be around so many people with a shared passion it's a rush. I literally spent 5 days doing nothing but thinking about, talking about, and playing Magic. It was awesome. Sadly I didn't do particularly well in any of the tournaments, but I'm not terribly surprised.

I guess now is a good time to start explaining some of the elements of magic, so I can explain why I scrubbed out. You are welcome to skim ahead as this is going to get kind of geeky, technical, and non intuitive for a bit.

For starters, there are basically two types of magic tournaments: constructed and limited. Constructed is where you bring a deck of your own build to the tournament and test it against the decks everyone else brings. Limited is when you show up and either get a bunch of packs to build a deck out of, or you draft cards one at a time from a slightly smaller shared pool of product. In either limited format you then try and build the best deck you can with what you get, though draft decks tend to be a little less clunky since you can draft along the lines of a strategy and work with your neighbors to try not to fight over the same cards. But that's more than you need to know.

Most of the events I played in were constructed, starting with the last chance qualifiers the day before the main event: US Nationals. Aaron and I spent Thursday morning (the day of the LCQ's) building this funky metagame deck for me to play. When I refer to the metagame I mean the anticipated landscape of decks you expect to be present. We were building a deck that was not one of the established archetypes, but rather one that would, hopefully, beat the decks we expected to see in the highest numbers. It did an ok job, but being that we built it that morning, it's not surprising that it needed some tuning. Still, I managed to top 8 one of the LCQ's, though only 1st place gets the invite to Nats.

I also played in a Pro Tour Qualifier, and did marginally well until the later rounds. Again, it was a janky out of nowhere deck. Any success was impressive. The other big event I played in was the $3k draft challenge. This was a limited tournament where we were broken into pods so that we could draft cards from our 3 packs each (24 packs total at the table). I have to say I was pretty pleased with the deck I drafted. I think more than anything I was just outclassed by a lot of my opponents. Several of them were folks who had been competing in Nats.

If you skipped ahead you can start reading again now.

Even though I did not win anything, I definitely felt the influence of PCP on my performance. More than anything else, I never succumbed to the fatigue and hunger that can effect players during long tournaments. Many players fail to take into account how physically challenging 9 hour long rounds of magic really is. Despite the venue's best efforts, I managed to keep a supply of reasonably healthy food on hand and stayed fed and hydrated. More than anything, this meant I was able to keep a clear head and keep having fun all day.

The other thing I really noticed, especially in the draft, was how much I saw my game improving from one game to the next. Even if I wasn't playing much better, I was noticing my mistakes more. After every game I was able to scrutinize my play with more tenacity than before. What would have seemed previously to have been an unwinable game, I was now able to see I had actually made x y z decisions wrong and thrown the game away. This may seem like a let down but it's not. To me, seeing that I screwed up a game like this meant something totally exciting: I could improve!

Nothing excites me more than getting better at something. So when I fail and no matter how I look at it there was nothing I could have done differently to succeed, it really frustrates me. What then can I improve? So to be seeing my own game play with a new refocused lense, and see the elements that need improving, well that's just awesome. I think there is no denying that my physical condition is what allowed me to reach that mental state.

On a side note, today when I left work I noticed that my left knee was starting to hurt a little when I peddled my bike. I ignored it, got home, did my jumpropes and my work out, and then sat the the computer. Now, as I get ready for bed, it really hurts. it's fine if it's stationary, but if I move it or try to lift weight with it, man it hurts. I'm hoping some sleep makes it feel better. We'll see.

Also, good luck to all the Vermonters who made Day 2 of Grand Prix: Boston (Pro level Magic Tournament). I wish I could be down there with you (stupid work). Kick some ass for me!